Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
