What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
