Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
