dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
