do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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