you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
