Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
