I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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