But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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