I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
