i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
