she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
