i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
