he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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