I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
