My brain says no but my pants say off.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize