hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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