some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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