did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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