i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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