I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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