I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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