i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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