it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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