I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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