better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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