was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
