I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
