Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
