Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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