We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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