I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
