Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
