I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
