Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
