I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
