she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
