i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
