your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Mom said you looked used
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
