The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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