there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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