I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
