But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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