That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
