Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
why is half of my head shaved?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
