I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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