they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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