My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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