so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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