apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
