No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
