why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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