3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are a genius and a whore.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
